Shandi Sturgill

What I’d give for it to stop
The cacophony of questions in my mind
Intrusively chanting to the beat
Of my racing heart

How many nights
Do I have to spend
Curled in a ball 
At the middle of my bed
Hoping noise and blue light
Will drive away the darkness

I fear everything I love
Will be ripped from my grasp
So much that it freezes me
At the same time a nervous energy
Keeps tying tighter and tighter knots inside of me

Maybe it will take
The worst finally sneaking in
While the guard was down
Tired from fighting 

How many nights
Do I have to spend
Curled in a ball 
At the middle of my bed
Hoping noise and blue light
Will drive away the darkness

I fear everything I love
Will be ripped from my grasp
So much that it freezes me
At the same time a nervous energy
Keeps tying tighter and tighter knots inside of me

So I’ll paste on a smile
And joke through my tears
Cause the day of my first breath
My fate was sealed

How many nights
Do I have to spend
Curled in a ball 
At the middle of my bed
Hoping noise and blue light
Will drive away the darkness

I fear everything I love
Will be ripped from my grasp
So much that it freezes me
At the same time a nervous energy
Keeps tying tighter and tighter knots inside of me